Tuesday, April 28, 2020
Julius Caesar Brutus Is A Honorable Man Essays - Junii,
Julius Caesar: Brutus Is A Honorable Man In Shakespeare's play of "Caesar" Brutus is a conspirator who portrays a person who favors a republic for Rome. Brutus is an honorable man. Many characters in the play show there reverence for Brutus. Brutus exemplifies his honor in many ways. Brutus is obsequious when he is needed to abet his fellow romans. Brutus is an honorable man. "Am I entreated to Speak and Strike? O Rome I make thee promise, If the redress will follow, then receivest thy full petition at the hand of Brutus" (Shakespeare 397). Brutus will obey to whatever the romans convey to him. Consequently, Brutus joins the conspiracy inorder to help the romans rid rome of Caesar. Brutus also understands that he is putting it all on the line for his romans, therefore Brutus is an honorable man. Brutus is a scrupulous man, whose virtues endure. "No not an oath, If not by the face of men, the sufferance of our souls, the time's abuse-If these motives be weak, break off betimes, and every men hence to his idle bed; So let high sighted tyranny rage on, till each man drop by lottery" (Shakespeare 399). Brutus said that if the conspirators do not join for a common cause, then there is no need for an oath because the conspirators are self-righteous, and they are serving the romans. If the conspirators don't bind together, then each man will go his own way, become a weakling, and die when it suits the tyrants caprice. Brutus is advocates peace, freedom and liberty, for all romans, which shows that Brutus is an altruistic as well as an honorable man. Brutus also had a compassion for Caesar when he had killed Caesar. "If then that a friend demand why Brutus rose against Caesar, this is my answer: Not that I loved Caesar less, but that I loved Rome more" (Shakespeare 421). Brutus had honored Caesar but Brutus felt that Caesar was to ambitious. Brutus also felt that Caesar made the romans as slaves. Therefore, Brutus is an honorable man. Brutus is a noble man who was revered by many. Brutus had joined the conspiracy because he had the desire to help the commoners. He was a follower of idealism, where the romans would possess peace, liberty and freedom. Brutus wanted the kill Caesar, because he believed that all of the people of Rome would eventually be slaves, thus Brutus resorted to the assassination if Caesar. Brutus is a honorable man.
Thursday, March 19, 2020
Prayer Of The Refugee The Story of a True Struggle Professor Ramos Blog
Prayer Of The Refugee The Story of a True Struggle TOPSHOT Thousands of migrants and refugees walk through the port of Piraeus after arriving from the Greek islands of Lesbos and Chios on February 1, 2016. On average, more than 1,900 people have arrived each day this month on Greek islands on unseaworthy boats from Turkey, according to the UN, which put the total of new arrivals in January at more than 50,000. More than 31,000 people have been registered on Lesbos during that time, the UN added. / AFP / LOUISA GOULIAMAKI (Photo credit should read LOUISA GOULIAMAKI/AFP/Getty Images) When you go shopping for yourself, have you ever wondered where or who made that nice shirt or those pair of shoes you been wanting? The majority of the time, the items we purchase at retail stores usually comes from places overseas made by children that we refer to as refugees. Itââ¬â¢s sad to imagine a world where children are being put to work for little to no pay living in unhealthy dangerous camps. Corporations usually do this to create mass productions of their product without having to pay their workers the right amount of money they deserve. Most of the time, these works are people young enough to be your own child or little brother and sister. Think twice before you purchase something that was imported from somewhere overseas. Many refugees flee their country to escape the horrible living arrangements they face in their home country. Even still, they are forced to work in slave-like conditions where ever they flee too. ââ¬Å"Lebanon has a population of just over 4 million people, a quarter of whom are Syrians who escaped the escalating civil crisis in their home countryâ⬠(Nash 2016). Even when they get to a place where they think is safe, they are still being put to work and forced to live in camps. ââ¬Å"According to a report by Freedom Fund, an antislavery activist group, refugee families are forced to live in tent communities- known as shawish and undertake labor obligationsâ⬠Syrian internally displaced people walk in the Atme camp, along the Turkish border in the northwestern Syrian province of Idlib, on March 19, 2013. The conflict in Syria between rebel forces and pro-government troops has killed at least 70,000 people, and forced more than one million Syrians to seek refuge abroad. AFP PHOTO/BULENT KILIC (Photo credit should read BULENT KILIC/AFP/Getty Images) (Nash2016). This is the type of reality poor young children are forced to live in and pray for a better change. These refugee camps are unhealthy, dangerous, and horrible way for anyone to be put through, especially children. They contain diseases and unhealthy water sources along with multiple other unhealthy methods that can be even worse than prison. ââ¬Å"In fact, the literature widely documents the association between poor housing conditions, characterized by the presence of humidity/mold, indoor pollutants, infestation, and the absence of a source of heating on the one hand, and reported illnesses by household members, such as dizziness, headache, irritation of eyes and skin, upper respiratory tract infection and an increase in the prevalence of cardiovascular diseasesâ⬠(Habib p.13). When you compare these living conditions to our prisons, you will see that it seems worse than some prisons out there. These people work hard for no pay and live in these dangerous conditions as if they did something to be punished yet they have done nothing to deserve it. Imagine your young loved one s being put through these conditions every day of their lives just so we can go out and buy the product we have no idea who is making it in the first place. There are some of the refugees out there that are trying to make their way to the U.S. yet, that is difficult to accomplish. Oftentimes, the children have to come here alone and leave their families behind. The ones that do however make it out here may sometimes land in dangerous situations. ââ¬Å"The investigation found that some of the children have ended up in dangerous situations. At least a dozen have been turned over to human traffickers, including sixà who were lured by smugglers to Mr. Portmanââ¬â¢s state, where they were put to work illegally on an egg farm for no pay. One was 14 years oldâ⬠(Dickerson 2018). à These children are only trying to find a better life through coming to the U.S. and sometimes still finding the same reality theyââ¬â¢re running from. Finding happiness for these innocent people may sometimes seem impossible. ââ¬Å"Children traveling alone surged across the southern border under Mr. Obama in 2014 when border agents apprehended 68,541 trying to enter the United States. About 41,000 have been apprehended in the current fiscal year, a 16 percent increase from the same period in 2017â⬠(Dickerson 2018). Those are the numbers of real children coming onto our land hoping in search for a better future when that may not even be what they actually find. These are the ones slaving away making the majority of the clothing or products we purchase on the daily without realizing it. Any product you purchase from out of our country can have a real story to it and whoââ¬â¢s hands they came from. I chose the song ââ¬Å"Prayer of the Refugeeâ⬠by Rise Against because it is a perfect representation of the lifestyle of a refugee that only wishes for a better life for them and their family. Tim McEllrath (artist of Rise Against) sheds light for those poor individuals by singing this song as it came out of their own mouths and displayed the hardship of an everyday lifestyle of a refugee. This song had so much depth meaning to it and can move you more by the visuals the music video contains. Rise Against is a band that was formed in 1999 with songs that support many great organizations such as PETA, animal rights, and more. Their goal is to shed more light on many important situations in the world that we pay no attention too. Being so blind to manyà of these situations or just choosing to not pay attention is was most of us are guilty of and we need to start making a change in the way we live our daily lives. I chose this specific song out of all of their meaningful songs they have because of the simple fact that this crisis is happening to young children who deserve nothing but to be loved and cared for by the people that are taking full advantage of them. These children are no more different than the children in your own life. I just hope one day, these children and families will find the life they deserve and be able to live on with the fact the no one is trying to take advantage of them and use them to make a quick dollar. Annotated Bibliography Syrian Refugee Children in Lebanon Are Working in Slave-Like Conditions: Report.à By:à à à à à à Jenkins, Nash, Time.com, 4/12/2016 This article lays out briefly what the conditions of a Syrian Refugee under ââ¬Å"forced workâ⬠with little to no pay. Jenkins explains how they are fleeing their home country and landing at Lebanon for slightly better living conditions. Harboring illnesses: On the association between disease and living conditions in a Palestinian refugee camp: Report. By: Habib Rima R., Basma, Shiraz H., Yeretzian, Joumana S.à International Journal of Environmental Health Research. Apr2006, Vol. 16 Issue 2, p99-111. 13p. 5 Charts. International Journal of Environmental Health Research sheds light on unhealthy living that refugee camps have to offer. Allows the reader to fully understand the hardship the youth of Palestinian have to go through on a daily basis. Gives full detail upon every aspect as well as charts of diseases. An American Tune: Refugee Children in U.S. Public Schools: Report. By: Weddle, Daniel B. Kansas Journal of Law Public Policy. Summer2018, Vol. 27 Issue 3, p434-456. 23p. This article displays the lives of refugee children coming to the U.S. to have the opportunity of a better life. To be able to have an education and a roof over their heads without having to be put through harsh times and slave work. Also shows the hardship they still have to deal with living in the U.S. as a refugee
Tuesday, March 3, 2020
How Film Producers Analyze Your Screenplay
How Film Producers Analyze Your Screenplay When an actor reads a script, heââ¬â¢ll think about how to approach his character, his motivation, his arc. When a cinematographer reads that same script, heââ¬â¢s thinking about lighting, camera angles, and what cinematic style to employ. The art director thinks about how to use design principles and visual techniques, while the editor assesses how everything will cut together. But what about the producer? After all, sheââ¬â¢s the creative gatekeeper who has committed to bringing all these people together to turn your script into a movie. What does she look for? In short, everything. (Albeit from a macro level.) Because if she doesnââ¬â¢t understand what the script needs, how will she assemble the right team for it? Moreover, how will she find its audience? Below are six main areas that a good producer will consider when reviewing your script. Story The producer wants fleshed-out characters, dramatic tension, coherent theme, and appropriate narrative structure. These are the underpinnings of viable cinematic storytelling. The story should resonate with your target demographic ââ¬â whether through comedy, drama or thrills ââ¬â ultimately offering a two-hour journey that encourages the willing suspension of disbelief. Bottom line, you can take a great story and make a so-so movie, but youââ¬â¢ll never turn a so-so story into a great movie. Budget Producers are not only the filmââ¬â¢s creative shepherds but also its fiscal ones. Theyââ¬â¢re responsible for deciding how much the film should cost and then securing that amount from investors. They also maintain a fiduciary duty to make choices that will benefit those investors. Smaller stories that require over-the-top set pieces or excessive visual effects might turn what would otherwise be a greenlight into a pass. Similarly, material with a low-budget feel might turn off a producer seeking something with wide theatrical appeal. Cast The right cast is almost indispensable to selling a film, so itââ¬â¢s no great mystery why producers rarely read a script without thinking about who would play key roles. Think about known actors whose look, style and personality might best befit the characters and let that inform your writing. The producer may ask you who you see playing those characters. Just make sure the actors you pick have a decent track record of starring in successful films. Execution Logistics At the end of the day, remember that the producer is tasked with turning your words into images. That means finding the right locations, hiring the best crew, securing vendors, determining a feasible schedule, and doing it all in a way that protects the integrity of both the story and budget. If she sees a workable path for bringing your script to screen within the budget parameters, sheââ¬â¢s more likely to take a chance on it. Marketing Loving a script is not enough. The producer wants to know that others will love it, too. Those people will make up the movieââ¬â¢s audience. As she reads, sheââ¬â¢ll be thinking about how to grab the audienceââ¬â¢s attention before they ever buy a ticket, from posters (how will the stars look on it?) to trailers (are there some good action-oriented set piece moments?) to awards potential (can I parlay a win at Cannes into an Oscar?). Considering such things in the scripting stage yourself might make your material more marketable. Distribution A feature film is ultimately a product. Making it is only the first step. Releasing it to an audience is the rest. The producer thinks about which distributors, sales agents, and platforms will find the story appealing, whether it be a made-for-TV movie, an international blockbuster, or a small Spanish-language indie for the Latin streaming market. Elements like scope, scale, plot, tone, genre, cast type, and marketability factor into this decision, so your understanding of such things help you better craft material. Summary These six elements are critical to how a producer analyzes a screenplay, but they donââ¬â¢t operate in a vacuum. They all relate and affect each other. For instance, story and budget will affect the level of cast you can attract, while all three will affect logistics. Cast and budget will affect the marketing plan, and so on. As such, multi-hyphenates like writer-producers who actually produce some of their own material are in the best position to consider another producerââ¬â¢s mindset when writing future scripts. For further insights, here is part of an interview I did with Film Courage on this topic: https://youtu.be/PAz-hW_Vym0
Sunday, February 16, 2020
Brand Personality, Voice & Messaging Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 250 words - 1
Brand Personality, Voice & Messaging - Essay Example For instance, the brand manager will use a concept such as ââ¬Å"inner attractiveness and beauty is what emerges when you eat ABC restaurant pizza.â⬠The advert will create a direct link between the companyââ¬â¢s product and personality. The ABC restaurant intends to identify the voice that will clearly define its pizza. The voice will be attractive and will aim at advancing the product popularity over its competitorââ¬â¢s pizza. The use of appealing voice will be of the essence in attracting a huge number of potential customers to the companyââ¬â¢s brand. The promotion voice will also help in sending the advertisement message in a clear manner to customers from various social and cultural backgrounds. The use of attractive voice will also aim at creating dialogue between the company managers and potential consumers. The ABC restaurant will also create a messaging map by describing the target audience and market. Although social network has multilayered audiences, the company will use clear messaging mapping in describing its target consumers. Identifying the target consumer will be vital in facilitating reliable interaction between the company and target consumers. Moreover, the restaurant intends to identify and engage in productive interaction with the target market. Productive interaction with the target market will be effective in associating potential customers with the companyââ¬â¢s
Sunday, February 2, 2020
Marketing strategy Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 250 words
Marketing strategy - Essay Example Pizza Hut follows this strategy: Starting its operations from Kansas, USA and gradually becoming the largest local fast food leaders they entered in Canadian market by opening it first international franchise. Now, Pizza Hut holds the largest number of its pizza chains around the world. To keep their customers knotted with the restaurant, Pizza Hut introduced a variety of different and refined products to satisfy the taste buds of their customers both at local and international level. Pizza Hut guarantees its customer best pizzas in town at competitive prices. Pizza Hut has targeted specifically those customers or the segment of the society those who like to eat out and has a taste for fast foods. Marketing Strategy of Pizza Hut is aimed to target people that fall in the age bracket of 18-55, love to eat out and never hesitate in experimenting something ââ¬Å"new.â⬠Looking at its international marketing strategy, Pizza Hut has entered the international market with touch of local taste mixed with its traditional recipes. Pizza Hut has positioned itself an international and local fast food leader. It offers variety of different fast food items on its menu. Pizza Hut has gained a strong hold in the local market as well. It is known for introducing new products in the market. Pizza Hut always has the advantage of introducing new products in the food industry therefore; Pizza Hut should focus on bringing something innovative in the market on the basis of their customersââ¬â¢ advices and
Saturday, January 25, 2020
Impact of Emotions on Child Cognitive Processing
Impact of Emotions on Child Cognitive Processing Using research findings, critically discuss the impact emotions can have on childrenââ¬â¢s cognitive processing, social behaviour, and physical health. There are different impact emotions have on childrenââ¬â¢s cognitive processing, their social behaviour and how it affects childrenââ¬â¢s physical health. The critical discussion of this topic essay, will be centred on the events relating to children in grief for the passing of a parent, maltreated children, and also how parenting style can affect the emotional characteristics that are displayed by the children and from this angle relating it with two great influence on children cognitive psychologist. It is essential to recognise the factual significance of emotions before getting into the other impacts, emotions are part of everyday distinction, it is a complex feelings that range between happiness and sadness, which are also the feelings that follows most aspects of other emotional feelings (Barnes, 1995). But why must childrenââ¬â¢s emotion have any impact on their lifeââ¬â¢s and others? Why must it affect individual cognitive processing? Does it always have to affect positively or negatively on the self and others and are the emotions expressed acceptable? Piaget coined the stages of cognitive development on how childrenââ¬â¢s knowledge of the world grows and improves with age. According to Piaget, schema are in different categories of both sensory and physical activities, as children mature in age the developmental schema enables them to categorize and compare different items, this process improves over time, the outline has its strengths and limitations, it serves to devise how we remember. Through this process children can therefore change their thoughts into emotional feelings to their primary care provider. The scheme also enables sorting of items in the memory and through this process, we are then able to make decisions and hold natural processes on different environmental characteristics, although the schemata have its advantages but it is also determined by the quantity of information it can hold. It is obvious that Piaget considered environmental factors that sometimes changes how we recollect, in sight of this he came up with the adaptation-organization, which is the method that schema changes through when something happened in a childââ¬â¢s life. The stage of adaptation organisation is sensitive to ambiguity because he further complicated this stage by saying that children are not influenced by any external factors, but cognitive development is totally innate. Although Piagetââ¬â¢s theory had a great influence on modern developmental psychology, but to some extent it underestimated the full potential of children and what they are capable of doing. (Bee Boyd, 2010). Some emotions that are expressed strongly can be satisfactory depending on the circumstances for example, when a child loses a parent, the notions of loss naturally will cause an impingement on the child mental state, it sometimes have an impingement on their physical health and possibly affect how they socialize with other youngsters, but if this emotion are repressed it could manifest in different shapes, granting to the child bereavement case study conducted out by Worden (1996). There was a 6 years old girl who began to experience nightmares and high level of anxiety when her mother was diagnosed with cancer and even after the death of her mother the symptoms persisted, but her 3 years old brother and 13 years old sister did not experience such anxiety both before and after the death of their mother. In that respect are different views on when children gain the cognitive functions of grieve, according to Wolfenstein children develop the content to mourn or grieve from adolescence , while Bowlby suggested that children as young as 6months acquire the feelings as an adult. (Barnes, 1995). The case study shows individual differences in how the cognition reacts to different emotional issues and also support Bowlbyââ¬â¢s suggestion that children as young as 6months acquire the feelings to grieve the same manner as an adult. (Parrott, 2001). Vygotskyââ¬â¢s theory is different from Piagetââ¬â¢s, Vygotsky refers to the cognitive process from social interaction aspect, according to him children learn from adult and other people that has a direct contact with them and through the relationship formed with other people they learn to experience how to socialize with other people. Through the guidance that children received from their parents they develop different skills and their zone of proximal development increases from the support and care received from their parents in order to acquire emotional stability, this is one major role out of many others, therefore the loss of that particular figure in a childââ¬â¢s developmental stage due to the sudden change of death will have its consequences on the childââ¬â¢s response in their cognitive development. Some strength of this theory is formed in the cognitive behavioural processes of a childs emotions and they are displayed through attention, retention, reproduction and motivation, he sees children talking to themselves has a way of learning to regulate both their emotions and behaviour and also it is a way of children developing problem solving skills. It is somehow hard to criticize this theory because it was not completed before Vygotsky died. (Bee Boyd, 2010). Male and female emotions operate with a different internal model, children mostly find it difficult to hide their emotions, for instance, when they are angry, they look miserable and through their facial expressions parent or the childââ¬â¢s caregiver can easily know that something is wrong and it is feasibly possible to describe what form of emotions that are displayed. But why canââ¬â¢t we always mask our emotions without other peoples awareness? Research findings has shown that the construction of emotions is universally and culturally similar, it is hard to separate emotions and cognition because the two processing influence each other, making it hard to isolate events of pure emotion and pure knowledge. Emotions alert individuals to be mindful of some very significant characteristics of the environment and provide directions for cognitive processing with the display of behaviour in certain ways that is conformed to the nature. (Lemerise Arsenio, 2000) On that point are some emotions related to shame and guilty conscience due to maltreatment from the health care provider, this feeling comes up due to distress to personal transgression. Guilty feelings in children could be affiliated with some specific behaviour this mostly is a shape of negative evaluation of emotional experience that are acquired from guilt, the individual will not realize that the problem is from themselves instead attention is primarily centred on what has taken place or what did not take place, it is severely important to look at the state of mind of a caregiver because it will deliver a substantial impact on the psychological evolution of the small fry. (Bee Boyd, 2010) The cognitive function of a childââ¬â¢s brain that deals with grieve is the Ego, it is the unconscious part that focus on the realness of the effect of a loss of a childââ¬â¢s parent. Kids as young as five years are vulnerable because they cannot fully understand the permanency of death, this is ascribable to the fact that their knowledge is not fully evolve in order to link up with the notions of loss (this statement contradicted what Bowlby suggested that children as young as six months can have the same impressions of heartache as an adult). (Worden, 1996) There are individual differences with the ability to understand other peopleââ¬â¢s emotion, the social development children and their social competence also have an impingement on their emotional knowledge of others. Children empathize with other people in different ways, it involves the consideration of their emotions and relating their feelings with other peopleââ¬â¢s emotional state, some children have very poor understanding of other peopleââ¬â¢s emotion, and perhaps the parental style of the caregiver might be accounted for the childrenââ¬â¢s lack of ability to understand other peopleââ¬â¢s emotion. (Bee Boyd, 2010). It is important for parents to create a positive impact in their childrenââ¬â¢s life, according to Samuelson (2012). The positive parental behaviours that are exhibited by the parents would be linked to the childrenââ¬â¢s attention and working memory and their inhibitory control this therefore means that the parental regulation of emotion would predict childrenââ¬â¢s executive functioning and there would be a better relationship and sympathy of other peopleââ¬â¢s emotion after controlling their own emotions. This construct is similar to Banduraââ¬â¢s theory with the Bobo doll experiment the main idea was to show how an aggressive behaviour can be modelled well by children, thus emotional behaviours that are exhibited by the parent of a child will be moulded by the small fry because of such children that is the normal style of behaviour, due to the childrenââ¬â¢s exposure to that type of emotions. So also some negative expressions of emotion that are exhibited by the parent can be disconcerting to the children, it frequently happens when children have been exposed to both positive and negative emotions in the same shape, this can thus prevent the childââ¬â¢s competency and developing problem solving skills. (Samuelson, Krueger, Wilson, 2012). It has been generally accepted that what determines social and emotional troubles in children are from some sort of temperament disturbance, according to Rutter and Caesar (1991). There are other underlying issues that contribute to behavioural difficulties, some of this behaviour are from language disorder, while others develop from different parenting style. It is important to point out that there is a general assumption that the beginning of problems in children are from their social and emotional development. Although parental attitudes and the distinctive preference for boys and girls emotions that are socially acceptable are deemed through the way children are responded to by their parents, which also would have a strong influence on their emotional behaviour, for example, if boys are taught to be tough and strong and encouraged that aggressive behaviours are masculine type of behaviour they will surely display more of such character and hide their emotions due to learned behav iour, while girls are taught to be gentle and calm so therefore girls are more flexible with how often they get emotional. Children learn through modelling they therefore will imitate the same learned behaviour displayed at home. (Ding Littleton, 2005) The research carried out by Berg-Nielsen et.al (2003). Revealed that there was a low parental involvement for boys in comparison to girls due to this lack of contact given to boys and lack of positive emotions displayed by their fathers when they are angry, by encouraging them to show their emotions and improve their self-awareness in order to enable them to be able to self-regulate their emotions. The reaction from the parent is otherwise due to the expectations from boys are different from girls thus there are riskier for boys to develop emotional behavioural disturbances. However, there are limitations to this research because it does not cut across different cultures. Nevertheless the environment that a child grows up will also have an impact on their emotional behaviour through the way they socially interact with others, for example parent that have a medical history of stress are always angry and depressed. This surely will affect the childââ¬â¢s growth in the appropriate wa y, there is a tendency for the child to develop an emotional imbalance, irritable temperament or mental health problems and possibly unable to regulate own behaviour, due to the type of attachment given to the child by the parents. (Ding Littleton, 2005). In conclusion, there are different theoretical approaches to emotion from the cognitive aspect of the social and behavioural aspect, there are some emotional display of behaviour that can be seen as acceptable, and for example when a child is grieving the loss of a parent. Across different cultures, children display similar emotions that suggests that a childââ¬â¢s cognitive processing have an impact on their emotions which are then exhibited in their behaviour, research findings have also shown that the environmental influences also have an effect on children, developmental stages, but the strongest influences are the type of parenting style, the type of attachment children received during childhood will determine how they deal with and regulate their emotions. And lastly childrenââ¬â¢s emotions also cause an impact on their health, for instance, if a child is constantly afraid it can lead to acute anxiety problems which mostly therefore becomes a mental health illness. References Barnes, P. (1995). Personal, Social and Emotional Development of children. Oxford: Blackwell. Bee, H., Boyd, D. (2010). The Developing Child (12th ed.). Boston: Pearson Education. Berg-Nielsen, T. S., Vika, A., Dahl, A. A. (2003). When adolescents disagree with their mothers: CBCL-YSR discrepancies related to marternal depression and adolescent self-esteem. Journal of Child Care, Health and Development, (29), 207-13. Ding, S., Littleton, K. (2005). Childrens Personal and Social Development. Oxford: Blackwell. Lemerise, E. A., Arsenio, W. F. (2000). An Integrated Model of Emotion Processes and Cognition in Social Information Processing. Journal of Child Development, (71), 107-118. Parrott, W. G. (2001). Emotions in Social Psychology. Philadelphia: Psychology Press. Rutter, M., Casaer, T., (eds). (1991). Biological Risk Factors for Psycho-social Disorders. Cambridge : Cambridge University Press. Samuelson, K. W., Krueger, C. E., Wilson, C. (2012). Relationship Between Marternal Emotion Regulation, Parenting and Childrens Executive Functioning in Families Exposed to Intimate Partner Violence. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, (17), 3532. doi:DOI: 10.1177/0886260512445385 Worden, J. W. (1996). Children in Grieve: When a Parent Dies. New York: Guilford.
Friday, January 17, 2020
Succubus Dreams CHAPTER 24
I knew I was going to live forever, but sometimes I had a hard time really understanding how long forever was. During that ride to the airport, however, I got a taste of what eternity might feel like. Maddie spent almost the entire time talking about Seth. In fact, I'm pretty sure the only time she didn't was when she stopped to check her watch and ponder whether we would make it on time. I knew we would make it on time because I would stop the car and carry her on my back before I'd risk her missing her flight and needing to ride back with me to the city. Once she'd decided we were still okay with time, it was back to Seth. Seth, Seth, Seth. I'm pretty sure there were only about three people in the world I wouldn't have suspected of fucking with me if they'd come telling a story like this. Unfortunately, Maddie was one of them. She was telling the truth. It was written all over her, and something in me ââ¬â maybe the part that really understood how serious the fight between Seth and me had been ââ¬â could feel it. After a while, my mind sort of went numb, and I stopped thinking about it all. I finally dropped her off at the airport and went home, barely aware of the traffic I once again had to fight my way through. When I got back to my apartment, I ate dinner and watched A Christmas Carol. A long, hot bath followed, and five shots of vodka finally put me down for the night. I slept on the couch because I couldn't bear to go in the room where an angel had fallen. Some Christmas Eve. Seth came over the next morning to take me to dinner at Terry and Andrea's. Uneasiness radiated around him, but he still smiled when he saw me. ââ¬Å"You look great.â⬠ââ¬Å"Thanks.â⬠I knew I did. I'd spent two hours getting ready, the last thirty minutes of which had been me simply standing in front of the mirror. I'd stood there, taking in every detail of my appearance. The clinging red dress. The curve of my neck under the glittering black choker. The way my golden-brown hair, worn sleek and smooth today, hung down my back. Gold eye shadow and black liner framed my eyes. My lips glowed under pale peach lip gloss. Even at five-four, my legs looked long and supple. My face, carved with high cheekbones and flawless skin, was beautiful. I was beautiful. Call it vanity or egotism, but it was true. I was so, so beautiful. More beautiful than Maddie. More beautiful than any mortal woman. Staring at that gorgeous reflection, I begged it to tell me that Seth would want me. He had to want me. How could he not? But I knew all the beauty in the world couldn't mask the pain in me. And after a couple more moments, Seth noticed too. His smile vanished. ââ¬Å"How did you find out?â⬠he asked. I dropped the coat I'd been holding. ââ¬Å"How do you think? She told me. She couldn't wait to tell me.â⬠He sighed and sat on the arm of my couch and stared into space. ââ¬Å"That's it? You have nothing else to say?â⬠I asked. ââ¬Å"I'm sorry. God, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean for you to find out like this.â⬠ââ¬Å"Were you ever going to tell me?â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeahâ⬠¦of course.â⬠His voice was so sweet and so gentle that it momentarily defused the anger that wanted to explode out of me. I stared at him, looking hard into those amber brown eyes. ââ¬Å"She saidâ⬠¦she said you didn't drink, but you did, right? That's what happened?â⬠I sounded like I was Kendall's age and suspected I wore the pleading expression Yasmine had given Jerome. Seth's face stayed expressionless. ââ¬Å"No, Thetis. I wasn't drunk. I didn't drink at all.â⬠I sank down into the armchair opposite him. ââ¬Å"Thenâ⬠¦thenâ⬠¦what happened?â⬠It took a while for him to get the story out. I could see the two warring halves within him: the one that wanted to be open and the one that hated to tell me things I wouldn't like. ââ¬Å"I was so upset after what happened with us. I was actually on the verge of calling that guyâ⬠¦what's his name? Niphon. I couldn't stand it ââ¬â I wanted to fix things between us. But just before I did, I ran into Maddie. I was soâ⬠¦I don't know. Just confused. Distraught. She asked me to get food, and before I knew it, I'd accepted.â⬠He raked a hand through his hair, neutral expression turning confused and frustrated. ââ¬Å"And being with herâ⬠¦she was just so nice. Sweet. Easy to talk to. And after leaving things off physically with you, I'd been kind ofâ⬠¦umâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ ââ¬Å"Aroused? Horny? Lust-filled?â⬠He grimaced. ââ¬Å"Something like that. But, I don't know. There was more to it than just that.â⬠The tape in my mind rewound. ââ¬Å"Did you say you were going to call Niphon?â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah. We'd talked at pokerâ⬠¦and then he called me once. Said if I ever wantedâ⬠¦he could make me a deal. I thought it was crazy at the time, but after I left you that nightâ⬠¦I don't know. It just made me wonder if maybe it was worth it to live the life I wanted and make it so you wouldn't have to worry so much.â⬠ââ¬Å"Maddie coming along was a blessing then,â⬠I muttered. Christ. Seth had seriously considered selling his soul. I really needed to deal with Niphon. He hadn't listened to me when I'd told him to leave Seth alone. I wanted to rip the imp's throat out, but my revenge would have to wait. I took a deep breath. ââ¬Å"Well,â⬠I told Seth. ââ¬Å"That's that. I can't say I like itâ⬠¦but, wellâ⬠¦it's over.â⬠He tilted his head curiously. ââ¬Å"What do you mean?â⬠ââ¬Å"This. This Maddie thing. You finally had a fling. We've always agreed you could, right? I mean, it's not fair for me to be the only one who gets some. Now we can move on.â⬠A long silence fell. Aubrey jumped up beside me and rubbed her head against my arm. I ran a hand over her soft fur while I waited for Seth's response. ââ¬Å"Georgina,â⬠he said at last. ââ¬Å"You knowâ⬠¦I've told youâ⬠¦well. I don't really have flings.â⬠My hand froze on Aubrey's back. ââ¬Å"What are you saying?â⬠ââ¬Å"Iâ⬠¦don't have flings.â⬠ââ¬Å"Are you saying you want to start something with her?â⬠He looked miserable. ââ¬Å"I don't know.â⬠No. This wasn't happening. ââ¬Å"What's this mean for us?â⬠I asked. ââ¬Å"I don't know.â⬠The anger returned, and I leapt up, much to Aubrey's annoyance. ââ¬Å"What do you know?â⬠I demanded. ââ¬Å"Do you even know why you did this?â⬠ââ¬Å"There were a lot of things going onâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ he said. ââ¬Å"A lot of factors. It just happenedâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ I put my hands on my hips and stalked toward him. ââ¬Å"Did it? Did it really? Because I'm not so sure.â⬠His distraught expression turned wary. ââ¬Å"What's that mean?â⬠ââ¬Å"I think you were getting back at me for not giving in that night. I made you mad. I hurt you. So, you're trying to hurt me. Teach me a lesson.â⬠ââ¬Å"I ââ¬â what? Are you insane? You think I'd do something like this to teach you a lesson? You think I would want to hurt you? Just because you refused sex?â⬠ââ¬Å"Why not?â⬠I asked. ââ¬Å"Guys always want sex from me. Why are you any different?â⬠ââ¬Å"Georgina,â⬠he said incredulously. ââ¬Å"You can't believe that. It's always been about more than sex. You have to know that. I've told you that over and over. I would never purposely hurt you. And yetâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ ââ¬Å"And yet what?â⬠He looked away from me and focused on the carpet. ââ¬Å"I don't know that we can keep going on without me hurting you.â⬠ââ¬Å"Well, if you don't sleep with my friends ââ¬â ââ¬Å" ââ¬Å"It doesn't even have to be that. There are so many things it could be. I could get hit by a car tomorrow or catch some disease. If you ever do crack some day and sleep with me, you'll hate yourself forever. And if I crack and sell my soul, that's going to upset you too. One way or another, you will get hurt. It's just a matter of when. I saw it that night in the kitchen ââ¬â I saw your face when you were yelling at me. That's when I knew it was all true.â⬠ââ¬Å"Iâ⬠¦I was upset,â⬠I told him. ââ¬Å"And, I meanâ⬠¦we knew this relationship wouldn't be easy. You were okay with all this in the beginningâ⬠¦the sex and everything elseâ⬠¦.â⬠ââ¬Å"Things change,â⬠he said bluntly. He met my eyes, and I again saw warring sides within him. ââ¬Å"And back then, I thought I was the one who would get hurt, not you. I can handle it.â⬠ââ¬Å"Are you saying I can't?â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm saying I don't want to find out. And honestly, it's not even about sex either. We've got communication problems, time problemsâ⬠¦I don't know. Hell, we have death problems. I don't really know if we should keep doing this.â⬠It felt like Joel's death again, like all the energy was being sucked away from me. ââ¬Å"How,â⬠I demanded, ââ¬Å"can you always lecture me about open communication and then dump this on me now? If you were feeling all thisâ⬠¦you should have brought it up beforehand, not in some bluff break-up at the zero hour.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm not entirely sure what that last part meant, but I'm not bluffing. And I've tried to talk to you about this. I tried the night you massaged me ââ¬â you didn't want to hear it.â⬠Seth took a deep breath. ââ¬Å"Georginaâ⬠¦I really mean it. I don't think we should be together anymore.â⬠I gaped. No, this wasn't right. This wasn't right at all. I'd expected a big fight, one we'd eventually get over, like always. I'd expected him to ask for forgiveness. I'd expected to set new boundaries in the relationship. I'd expected me to be the one to have the high ground and decide if we were going to continue this. I hadn't expected to be pleading. ââ¬Å"No. No. Sethâ⬠¦we've just got to make it work. Look, I'll get over Maddie, okay? And if you want to sleep with other womenâ⬠¦I mean, it is okay. I always said you could. It's just this first timeâ⬠¦well, it's a shock, that's all.â⬠He just continued to watch me quietly, and I found myself babbling on more and more. ââ¬Å"But we can make it work. We always do. We'll find a way. You can't just go ahead and decide something like this on your own. There are two of us in this, you know.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah,â⬠he said. ââ¬Å"I do know. And I'm one of the two. And I want to split up.â⬠ââ¬Å"No,â⬠I said frantically. ââ¬Å"You don't want to. This is just some weirdâ⬠¦I don't know. You don't mean it.â⬠Seth's silence was more infuriating than if he'd shouted back at me. He just kept watching me, letting me talk. His expression had so much regret ââ¬â but so much determination too. ââ¬Å"You were the one who told me we could overcome anything,â⬠I cried. ââ¬Å"Why not this?â⬠ââ¬Å"Because it's too late.â⬠ââ¬Å"It can't be. If you do thisâ⬠¦it's all for nothingâ⬠¦you'll have ended up hurting me. Me and Maddie both.â⬠ââ¬Å"It's a small hurt compared to what could really happen,â⬠he said. ââ¬Å"And as for Maddieâ⬠¦I don't plan on hurting her. Iâ⬠¦I like her.â⬠ââ¬Å"But you love me.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah, I do. I probably always will. But maybe that's not enough. I have to move on. We can't do this. I think maybeâ⬠¦I don't know. I think something good could happen with me and Maddie. In some ways, she's like you, only ââ¬â ââ¬Å" Seth had started to slip into the rambling he sometimes did when nervous enough. He bit his lip now, as though he might summon the words back, and looked away. ââ¬Å"Only what?â⬠I asked. I could barely hear my own voice. He turned his gaze back to me, firm and unflinching. ââ¬Å"Onlyâ⬠¦more human.â⬠And that was it. All the anger and sorrow vanished. There was nothing in me. Nothing at all. I was empty. ââ¬Å"Get out,â⬠I said. He paled. Something in my voice and expression must have been truly terrifying. Tentatively, he extended a hand. ââ¬Å"I never meant to hurt you. Thetis, I'm sorr ââ¬â ââ¬Å" ââ¬Å"Don't ever call me that again,â⬠I told him, stepping away. I didn't know how any of these words were coming out of my mouth. It was like someone else was controlling me. ââ¬Å"Leave. Now.â⬠He opened his mouth, and I thought all that resolve he'd just shown might crumble. In the end, it didn't. He left.
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